Save The World? Eh, Let's Get Tacos Instead
by TheUltimateBookNerd
Summary: Max and the Flock are trying to save the world. But what's the fun in that? Everyone knows you can't save the world without a few trips to the hospital, Dr. M's house, Taco Bell, and the therapist's office of course! Otherwise saving the world would be so boring! Rated T because why not. Probably as bad as it sounds in the summary. Read it anyways please!
1. Chapter 1

Me: I'm hyper. I just ate bacon and cookie dough. Therefore new stories form.

Iggy: *pouting* She wouldn't share her bacon or cookie dough with me!

Me: *bares teeth* Mine! I dedicate this new story to my love of bacon and cookie dough!

Dis To the Claimer: I'm a girl. Need I say more?

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><p>Max POV<p>

Have you ever had one of those days that are just pure bliss? The ones that are so rare but so happy that nothing bad matters? You have? Lucky you. I sure haven't.

"Maaaaaxxx! I'm bored." Fang, yes Mr. Tall Dark and Silent, whined to me for the thirty second time in the past 10 minutes and 46 seconds. But hey, who's counting?

"I understand that Fang. If you feel the need to say that one more time I will rip your newly dentalled teeth out." I stated as calmly as possible...is dentalled a word? Who cares. Fang certainly wouldn't know. Especially because he's a bit delirious as the moment.

"You're funny." He giggled in response poking my cheek. Breathe Max. Just breathe.

I know what you're thinking. What's going on? Where are you? Where's the rest of the Flock?

I was just getting there. Hold your horses people.

The Flock and I were just hanging out at an empty beach (They're rare, I know) in California. We just wanted to relax a bit. Stretch our wings and have some fun before figuring out our next move on the whole 'let's save the world' thing. Fang was swimming with Angel, Nudge was being the judge to Iggy and Gazzy's 'Who can throw a rock farthest?' contest, and I was just watching everybody have fun.

Fang and Angel were playing "Who can hold your breath the longest?" To humor Angel, since they both have flipping gills, Fang decided to go above water and let her win. At the exact moment Ig threw a rock. It hit Fang square in the chin.

Needless to say words of all kinds were used when we realized his tooth was beyond just letting it be and we would have to go to the dentist.

Which brings us to where we are now. Fang and I, in a dentists room waiting for the dentist to return and fix Fang's tooth. He applied some loopy gas to Fang that takes 15 minutes to kick in completely. That'll be fun. So Fang's busy being semi-delirious whilst I am being annoyed at Fang and hoping the Flock doesn't do something stupid while we're gone. Being the _generous _leader I am I gave them 100 dollars from my Max card and told them to spend it in Walmart while we're gone. And when the money's gone to just stay in Walmart. I felt like 6 of us coming to fix one kid's tooth would be too suspicious.

"Maxyyyyyyyyy" Fang drawled out slowly. I bit my tongue to keep from slapping him.

"What Fang?"

He giggled again. "You look funny."

"Gee, thanks."

"Like a cupcake. But a good cupcake. Like a bacon cupcake. I like bacon. Can we get bacon Max?" Fang asked giddily.

Dang. Now I'm craving bacon. I shoulda told Iggy to buy bacon. He probably did knowing him. He better of. Or I'll kick his bird butt.

"Heyy Maxi-kins, where's that kid? Ya know? The smelly one?" Fang poked my cheek again. One minute and 32 seconds until the dentist comes back. But once again, who's counting?

"Gazzy's at Walmart."

"What's Walmart sillygoose? There's no Walmart!"

"Walmart is a store. And there is Walmart." I responded impatiently.

"No. He's in Narnia. He's eating my cookie dough! Maxie make him stop!" Fang complained throwing his arms all over.

"No, you're delirious."

"Yes. Now make Gazzy stop!"

"I said no."

"I heard you. I'm not blind. That's Jerry the Narwhal's job!"

And just like that the dentist came in thankfully. I was about ready to punch a window.

"Alrighty! We should be ready to put the tooth back in place now!" The dent is clapped her hands together perkily.

"Is he gonna be delirious after the procedure as well?" I asked the dentist.

"I would assume he'd be delirious for another half or so afterwards, yes." She responded with a smile.

Just great.

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><p>Me: So what do ya guys think? You likey? You dislikey? Review either way pleaaasseee!<p>

Iggy: Bacon-y?

Me: BACON!

R & R?


	2. Walmart Escapades

Me: Yay! We got a review! Thank you so much Awesomepaw777! Much love! I'm smiling so much right now! You're so nice!

Iggy: Yeah yeah let's just get to the story.

Me: Ok! Let's do i-

Iggy: Eh eh eh. You know what you gotta do.

Me: *frowns* Hmph. Disclaimer: I don't own Maximum Ride. ALTHOUGH THAT'S PRETTY OBVIOUS!

ON WITH LE STORY!

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><p>Iggy POV<p>

"Bye Max! Bye Fang!" Nudge, Gazzy, Angel, and I shouted together as Max and Fang flew away to the dentist.

After they were out of hearing distance I turned and grinned in the direction of the remaining Flock members. "To Walmart!" I yelled fist pumping the air.

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><p>Once we were at Walmart I had to establish some "rules" with Nudge, Gazzy, and Angel.<p>

"We each get twenty five bucks, if there's a problem scream and run towards the lane I'll be spending my time in...the bacon aisle. Meet at the bacon aisle when you use up your money!" I told them and ran off to find my beloved aisle before Nudge could think of a question and spend an hour blabbing away.

"Bacon, bacon, bacon." I muttered as I walked and felt the items to see if it was bacon, "Where could you be my beloved?"

I continued to search for my bacon when I heard a high pitched voice behind me.

"Umm, excuse me. You can't touch all the merchandise. I'm going to have to ask you to stop."

A blind avian just can't get a break can he? I can at least have fun with this.

"But miss," right as I said miss she cut me off.

"Excuse me? I'm a guy!" The high pitched _dude _shouted offended.

In my defense I am blind so what I said next was simply for me to know! I started nothing! "You sure about that?"

That's when I felt his fist connect with my nose. _Crunch. _He did NOT just punch the blind guy!

"That'll teach you to call me a girl!" He shrieked angrily. I will not get kicked out of Walmart. I need my bacon. I'll just play the guilt card.

"Let me tell you something SIR. I was feeling the stuff because I'm BLIND and I was trying to figure out where the bacon was," I heard him go 'OH!' But I ignored him and continued, "And I assumed you to be female because you have a very high pitched voice and it'd be really awkward to say 'What gender are you?' And I said 'Are you sure?' Because you just have an extremely high voice and I wasn't sure if you were pulling a prank or something! So SIR you just punched an innocent blind customer who was going to buy some bacon! I oughtta sue you, no I should sue WALMART! I got great lawyers you know!" Pfft that was a lie. My lawyers are Max, Fang, Nudge, Gazzy, and Angel.

"I'm so sorry! What can I do to make it up? Please don't sue me! I need this job!" He pleaded.

I grinned. This is where the fun comes in.

Gazzy POV

After Iggy dashed off we all just kind of stood there for a few minutes. Then we realized something...

"ZOMG! WE HAVE A FULL 25 DOLLARS EACH TO SPEND AND WE CAN DO WHATEVER WE WANT! Do you guys think 25 dollars is enough for makeup and clothes like the really cute clothes with a panda ya know? ZOMG I saw this ADORABLE panda hoodie in Walmart last time we were here and I was all like 'MAXX PLEAASE LEMME BUY IT!' But she was all like 'Noooo!' Just like when we were at the zoo and I wanted a baby elephant cause we could like ride it into battle against Erasers and the-"

"Not another word until I am out of hearing distance. I prefer to keep my ears in tact. Whatever that means. I heard Max say that once to you. Anyways don't talk. Bye!" I took my hand off of Nudge's mouth and ran off.

"What should I do?" I asked myself quietly walking down aisle to aisle.

I could always find more stuff for bombs. I mean sure a bomb could be made out of practically anything but I could find stuff to make it more powerful...

Then I remembered something.

A few weeks ago I was watching Fang do stuff on his laptop and he was looking at a list.

Ways To Get Kicked Out Of Walmart.

This should be fun.

Nudge POV

After I finally got Gazzy's hand off of me Angel slapped her palm onto my mouth!

"What Gazzy said." She giggled taking her hand off and running away. Rude!

Hmph. They all left me to shop by myself! The nerve!

I was walking angrily to the clothes section when I saw this AMAZING jacket! It had a big fluffy hood and it was pink and purple swirls on the back and it said in big teal letters on the front PEACE! And it just looked so adorable!

I ran over there right away completely forgetting my anger to the rest of the Flock and checked the price tag.

23 dollars! PERFECT! ZOMG I CAN'T BELIEVE IT!

I was doing a celebratory happy dance when someone tapped me on the shoulder.

I whirled around to see a big hairy dude staring straight at me. ERASER! So I punched him square in the face.

"Agh!" He yelled kneeling on the floor holding his hands to his face, "What was that for?!"

"I ummm... I..." For the first time I was speechless.

"I was just asking you to move so I could look at the clothes for my daughter! Why'd you punch me?!" He yelled again.

"ZOMG! I'm reallysorryandIdidn'tmeantopunchyouIummmgottagobye!" And I dashed off to hide somewhere.

Oops.

Angel POV

I didn't mean to talk to a lady about her thoughts. Really. Her thoughts were just jumping at me like crazy. It hurt my head really bad too. It's not my fault that I didn't realize asking her to have softer thoughts would be weird. She was just so loud!

_I CANNOT BELIEVE DANIEL MADE ME GO BUY HIS GIFTS FOR HIS OWN MOTHER! I would think he could lift his own lazy, good for nothing, butt off of that couch to at least buy his mother a gift! But NOOOOO! He's all "My back hurts, baby can you get her something please? I love you!" Yeah right his back hurts. And of COURSE I end up caving and going to Walmart to get my wicked Mother in law a Christmas present that I'm not even gonna get credit for buying! If I try to then Daniel will open his STUPID mouth and come up with some lie and make me look like a fool!_

The words were jumping at me, I tried to block it out, but I just couldn't.

I tapped the black haired woman on the arm. "Excuse me miss, but could you please turn down your thoughts a bit? It hurts my head. And I'm not lying about my head hurting like you think Daniel is about his back."

The words just slipped out!

"How did you..." The lady gasped putting a hand to her mouth.

"...You were talking about it." I said quickly.

"No I wasn't." She responded just as fast.

"Yes you were." I began pulling at her mind. You were talking and I asked you to talk quieter. I continued to put this message in her brain.

"I- maybe I was..." Her eyes started to look funny... like she was gonna...

And that's when she dropped to floor.

My bad.

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><p>Me: You guys like? No like? Review both ways! The things the Flock do when Max and Fang are gone...<p>

Iggy: BACONNN

Me: You got punched. He he.

Iggy: Meanie.

R & R?


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